Weird Science

This collection of comics contains stories about weird science. More fanciful science fiction, less real science. Like when Robot built a teleport device out of some strange alien rocks and an old iPod.

Stress Distress

December 30, 2020
In this comic, Robot helps Francis the Sheep de-stress from their current predicament.
In this comic, Robot helps Francis the Sheep de-stress from their current predicament.
View Comic Transcript

Stress Distress

Comic written and illustrated by Ryan Reid

Panel 1: EXT., DAY, SNOW PLANET. ROBOT and FRANCIS, terrified, hide behind a boulder. Vicious ZOMBIE SNOW BEASTS look everywhere for them.

FRANCIS

I’m fairly certain this excursion is taking years off my life.

ROBOT

Really? Which years, do you think?

FRANCIS

Beg pardon?

Panel 2

ROBOT

I read this very scientific study that said stress, while already universally disliked for being an all-round jerk, can also travel through time and space to affect any part of your life.

Panel 3

ROBOT

For example, your stress from these Zombie Snow Beasts is transmitting through time and space as we speak. It might travel backwards, and be the reason you felt sad and alone for two weeks in the farmyard paddock as a young lamb.

Panel 4: A diagram shows how the stress from the ZOMBIE SNOW BEASTS could potentially affect FRANCIS throughout her entire life, traveling back in time to make her sad in the paddock, or possibly traveling forward and killing her with a heart attack tomorrow. Several unrelated moments in FRANCIS’s life are also labelled on her time line: birthday, electric fence (yikes), hay bail concussion, meets Robot, angry crow incident, and space piranhas.

Panel 5

ROBOT

Or it might travel forward and kill you with a heart attack tomorrow. This is why stress doesn’t get invited to any fun parties.

Panel 6

FRANCIS

This universe is really stupid. I want my years back!

ROBOT

Not to worry, I’ve got just the thing.

Panel 7: Robot pulls out two very large blaster gun things. CATHARSIS! RAY™ appears above them, as the ZOMBIE SNOW BEASTS are now aware of them.

Panel 8: ROBOT and FRANCIS blast all of the ZOMBIE SNOW BEASTS with the CATHARSIS! RAY™ blaster gun thingies.

Panel 9: More blasting.

Panel 10

FRANCIS

I feel ten years younger!!

ROBOT

That’s probably radiation. These things are not safe at all.

Robot Fixes the Engine

February 25, 2020

In this comic, Robot heads out into space to fix the rocket engine, but is hindered by a freeloading bug and pastries.

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Robot Fixes the Engine

Comic written and illustrated by Ryan Reid

Panel 1: ROBOT is floating alone in space. Stars flicker. He’s tethered to the ship, which is off panel.

ROBOT

Space is such a lonely place…

Panel 2: Somewhere inside the ship, FRANCIS is holding a space helmet, which is full of plants.

FRANCIS

I’d be out there with you if you hadn’t used my helmet as a terrarium.

Panel 3: ROBOT, still floating in space. FRANCIS can be heard over the ship communicator.

ROBOT

…and so very complainy.

FRANCIS

Just fix the engine.

Panel 4: ROBOT is pulling technical looking stuff out of an open hatch on the top of the ship. FRANCIS can be heard over the ship communicator.

ROBOT

Try it now.

FRANCIS

Nothing.

Panel 5: ROBOT is now head first into the hatch, still pulling stuff out of the ship. FRANCIS can be heard over the SHIP COMMUNICATOR.

ROBOT

How about now?

FRANCIS

Nope.

Panel 6: ROBOT floats down into the engine room. It’s huge, and complex.

ROBOT

Whoa! The engine is bigger than I thought!

Panel 7: ROBOT taps on a gauge on the wall. A MYSTERIOUS FIGURE addresses him off panel.

MYSTERIOUS FIGURE

Cuppa cake?

ROBOT

No thanks.

Panel 8: The MYSTERIOUS FIGURE is a giant BUG! ROBOT confronts the BUG.

ROBOT

Ack! A bug!! Get out! Get out!

BUG

But, yum! Yum!

Panel 9: ROBOT forcibly removes the BUG from the engine room. The BUG floats off into space, yelling about yummy cup cakes.

ROBOT

And! Stay!! Out!!!

BUG

Creamy cheese icing!

Panel 10: Meanwhile, somewhere inside the ship, FRANCIS discovers a cable unplugged from a wall receptacle.

FRANCIS

Oh! The engine was just unplugged!

Panel 11: FRANCIS, having solved the engine problem, is visibly proud. ROBOT, having just exerted way too much effort for no discernible purpose, couldn’t care less.

FRANCIS

I fixed the engine!

ROBOT

Great. Have a cupcake.

Robot Blames the Universe

July 24, 2019

In this comic, Robot shares his unusual philosophy of the universe with Francis the Sheep, while they run for their lives.

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Robot Blames the Universe

Comic written and illustrated by Ryan Reid

Panel 1: ROBOT and FRANCIS run for their lives across an alien landscape. It’s mostly giant mushrooms, and rocks. ORB SHAPED ROBOTS are in hot pursuit, shooting deadly laser beams at them. ROBOT is holding an original iPod for a reason not yet revealed.

ROBOT

This isn’t my fault.

Panel 2: FRANCIS slides down a giant mushroom.

FRANCIS

Really?! You just got caught stealing their sacred idol!

Panel 3: ROBOT runs away from the giant mushrooms, toward a rocky outcrop.

ROBOT

Well, yeah! It’s a thousand songs in your pocket!

Panel 4: ORB SHAPED ROBOTS are relentlessly in pursuit.

Panel 5: ROBOT and FRANCIS run into a huge cavern.

ROBOT

Everything we do is the result of events that occurred long before we arrived.

Panel 6: ROBOT and FRANCIS hide behind a large rock in the cavern. The cavern is a dead end. FRANCIS returns fire with her laser pistol. ROBOT picked a lousy time to examine strange glowing rocks.

ROBOT

Events that stretch back to the start of the Universe. Outcomes are unchangeable!

Panel 7: FRANCIS’ gun jams. Things are looking bleak. ROBOT has succeeded in creating some kind of ramshackle device using the iPod, and some of those glowing rocks.

ROBOT

At least, that’s what the dumb universe would have you believe. Hold on to your woolies!

Panel 8: ROBOT and FRANCIS have teleported to the top of the cliff. Their space ship is close by, and ready to go.

DEVICE

Teleport complete!

FRANCIS

UGH! Your daring escapes should come with dire warnings.

Panel 9: ROBOT and FRANCIS speed away from the planet in their space ship, miraculously surviving this adventure.

ROBOT

So the universe could take all the credit for my selfless heroism?! Never!

Robot Solves the Water Crisis

August 31, 2016

In this comic, Robot and Francis the Sheep solve the global water crisis in an unconventional way.

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Robot Solves the Water Crisis

Comic written and illustrated by Ryan Reid

Panel 1: ROBOT is showing his INVENTION to FRANCIS.

ROBOT

Good news, Francis! I solved the water crisis!

Panel 2: Close up of ROBOT and his INVENTION. Sound effect: CLICK!

ROBOT (sincerely)

This device will open a tiny fissure in space-time, allowing the abundant fresh water from pre-history to flow into the now! Watch this!

Panel 3: A gigantic pre-historic WHALE-like creature appears out of nowhere, with a moist POP! sound. ROBOT and FRANCIS are startled.

Panel 4: Close crop on the eye of the WHALE. ROBOT and FRANCIS lean in off panel.

ROBOT (angry)

Oh, great! Another special interest blocking scientific progress!

Panel 5: ROBOT and FRANCIS walking away from the WHALE. ROBOT tosses his INVENTION away.

ROBOT

Seriously, Francis - if I knew it would be hard I never would’ve bothered.

Communication Breakdown

April 23, 2016

In this comic, Willa and her dog Marnie build a machine to communicate with aliens, but it doesn’t go as expected.

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Communication Breakdown

Comic written and illustrated by Ryan Reid

Panel 1: BARN and paddock. WILLA and MARNIE are visible in the hay mow.

WILLA

Bored. Bored. Bored. Bored. Bored. Bored. Bored. Bored. Bored.

Panel 2: Close up on WILLA and MARNIE.

WILLA

Bored. Bored. Bored. Aha!

Panel 3: Panel expands to allow for infographic of WILLA’s science speak. MARNIE listens intently.

WILLA

Blah blah <math> blah blah <more math> blah blah <incomprehensible science> blah blah

Panel 4: WILLA shows off her newest INVENTION to MARNIE.

TEXT BOX

Much, much later…

WILLA

And so! This machine will allow us to see and talk with alien races on the other side of the known universe! Cool, right?!

Panel 5: Close up on WILLA’s finger, pressing the ON SWITCH on the INVENTION.

WILLA

Power on!

Panel 6: Close up on WILLA and MARNIE. WILLA is speaking into the machine.

WILLA

Hello alien life! This is Willa and Marnie the dog from Earth! Hello? Hello?

Panel 7: ROBOT’s KITCHEN, across the universe. WILLA’s INVENTION has broadcast their image through ROBOT’s REFRIGERATOR. ROBOT is freaked out. WILLA and MARNIE don’t see anything.

TEXT BOX

Waaay on the other side of the known universe…

WILLA

Nuts! I don’t see anything! Maybe my math is off, or maybe…oh! Look at the time! We’ve got to go!

Panel 8: Close up of ROBOT and the REFRIGERATOR. WILLA and MARNIE have disappeared again. ROBOT looks worried, but relieved.

WILLA

Hurry, Marnie! Shut it down! We can not be late! Oh!

Panel 9: MARNIE’s LIVING ROOM. WILLA is watching a loud TV program. MARNIE is asleep on the floor.

TEXT BOX

Fin.