The Meaning of Life

Comic written and illustrated by Ryan Reid

Panel 1: ROBOT and FRANCIS search an alien landscape for something unknown. They seem quite determined.

Panel 2: Beautiful wild flowers surround them. It’s a very nice planet.

Panel 3: Their search ends in a stunning valley. Towering before them is the goddess CHAKKA OF AKONG. She is surrounded by swirling magic.

Panel 4

FRANCIS

Great Goddess Chakka of Akong, your wisdom knows no bounds! We are humbled to be in your presence!

ROBOT

We seek guidance!

Panel 5

CHAKKA OF AKONG

My knowledge is as deep and as wide as the Universe is infinite. What do you desire? The meaning of life? The secrets of the universe?

Panel 6

ROBOT

Nah, something much more important. We need directions to Galaxy Joe’s House of Noodles!

Panel 7: CHAKKA OF AKONG isn’t impressed with this request. Not even a little bit.

CHAKKA OF AKONG

Are you asking me, an immortal, all-knowing, higher being, for restaurant directions?!

Panel 8

FRANCIS

To be fair, they have the best noodles, and our map app couldn’t get a cyberweb connection out here.

ROBOT

Hold on Francis! I got a signal! Galaxy Joe’s - first left past the Gummy Nebula. Let’s ride!

Panel 9: CHAKKA OF AKONG is completely baffled by this entire chain of events.

CHAKKA OF AKONG

What is happening right now?!

Panel 10: ROBOT and FRANCIS blast off into space, once again on the trail of, apparently, lunch.

Panel 11: GALAXY JOE’S, home of the gigantic noodle bowl.

FRANCIS

What did she mean when she said she’d erase us from this plane of existence?

ROBOT

I don’t know, but it’ll be reflected in her Goddess review. 1 star. Short tempered. Would not idolize.

Robot Fixes the Engine

Comic written and illustrated by Ryan Reid

Panel 1: ROBOT is floating alone in space. Stars flicker. He’s tethered to the ship, which is off panel.

ROBOT

Space is such a lonely place…

Panel 2: Somewhere inside the ship, FRANCIS is holding a space helmet, which is full of plants.

FRANCIS

I’d be out there with you if you hadn’t used my helmet as a terrarium.

Panel 3: ROBOT, still floating in space. FRANCIS can be heard over the ship communicator.

ROBOT

…and so very complainy.

FRANCIS

Just fix the engine.

Panel 4: ROBOT is pulling technical looking stuff out of an open hatch on the top of the ship. FRANCIS can be heard over the ship communicator.

ROBOT

Try it now.

FRANCIS

Nothing.

Panel 5: ROBOT is now head first into the hatch, still pulling stuff out of the ship. FRANCIS can be heard over the SHIP COMMUNICATOR.

ROBOT

How about now?

FRANCIS

Nope.

Panel 6: ROBOT floats down into the engine room. It’s huge, and complex.

ROBOT

Whoa! The engine is bigger than I thought!

Panel 7: ROBOT taps on a gauge on the wall. A MYSTERIOUS FIGURE addresses him off panel.

MYSTERIOUS FIGURE

Cuppa cake?

ROBOT

No thanks.

Panel 8: The MYSTERIOUS FIGURE is a giant BUG! ROBOT confronts the BUG.

ROBOT

Ack! A bug!! Get out! Get out!

BUG

But, yum! Yum!

Panel 9: ROBOT forcibly removes the BUG from the engine room. The BUG floats off into space, yelling about yummy cup cakes.

ROBOT

And! Stay!! Out!!!

BUG

Creamy cheese icing!

Panel 10: Meanwhile, somewhere inside the ship, FRANCIS discovers a cable unplugged from a wall receptacle.

FRANCIS

Oh! The engine was just unplugged!

Panel 11: FRANCIS, having solved the engine problem, is visibly proud. ROBOT, having just exerted way too much effort for no discernible purpose, couldn’t care less.

FRANCIS

I fixed the engine!

ROBOT

Great. Have a cupcake.

Robot Blames the Universe

Comic written and illustrated by Ryan Reid

Panel 1: ROBOT and FRANCIS run for their lives across an alien landscape. It’s mostly giant mushrooms, and rocks. ORB SHAPED ROBOTS are in hot pursuit, shooting deadly laser beams at them. ROBOT is holding an original iPod for a reason not yet revealed.

ROBOT

This isn’t my fault.

Panel 2: FRANCIS slides down a giant mushroom.

FRANCIS

Really?! You just got caught stealing their sacred idol!

Panel 3: ROBOT runs away from the giant mushrooms, toward a rocky outcrop.

ROBOT

Well, yeah! It’s a thousand songs in your pocket!

Panel 4: ORB SHAPED ROBOTS are relentlessly in pursuit.

Panel 5: ROBOT and FRANCIS run into a huge cavern.

ROBOT

Everything we do is the result of events that occurred long before we arrived.

Panel 6: ROBOT and FRANCIS hide behind a large rock in the cavern. The cavern is a dead end. FRANCIS returns fire with her laser pistol. ROBOT picked a lousy time to examine strange glowing rocks.

ROBOT

Events that stretch back to the start of the Universe. Outcomes are unchangeable!

Panel 7: FRANCIS’ gun jams. Things are looking bleak. ROBOT has succeeded in creating some kind of ramshackle device using the iPod, and some of those glowing rocks.

ROBOT

At least, that’s what the dumb universe would have you believe. Hold on to your woolies!

Panel 8: ROBOT and FRANCIS have teleported to the top of the cliff. Their space ship is close by, and ready to go.

DEVICE

Teleport complete!

FRANCIS

UGH! Your daring escapes should come with dire warnings.

Panel 9: ROBOT and FRANCIS speed away from the planet in their space ship, miraculously surviving this adventure.

ROBOT

So the universe could take all the credit for my selfless heroism?! Never!

Robot and the Echo Chamber

Comic written and illustrated by Ryan Reid

Panel 1: ROBOT and FRANCIS in their SPACE SHIP, observing something off panel.

ROBOT

It appears to be some kind of sentient bubble.

Panel 2: Pull out to see their small SHIP next to a giant BUBBLE.

ROBOT

Whatever we do, let’s not get sucked into it.

Panel 3: Same as panel 2, except they get sucked into it. Sound effect: SHOOP!

ROBOT

Aw, crap.

Panel 4: ROBOT and FRANCIS are inside the BUBBLE. They are confronted by very happy looking CLONES of ROBOT. There is a POP! sound effect as more CLONES appear seemingly out of nowhere.

ROBOT

Ack! Who are you?

CLONE 1

We’re your tribe! Welcome to your echo chamber!

Panel 5: Close up of CLONE 1. More POP! noises in the background.

CLONE 1

You’ll love it here! We’re all the same, and completely impervious to view point diversity.

Panel 6: Pull out to frame ROBOT, FRANCIS, and CLONE 1 in the panel. Another POP! noise.

ROBOT

But I like counter arguments. They prove how smart I am.

Panel 7: The panel expands to see a bunch of the CLONES, all wearing the same UGLY VESTS. FRANCIS looks terrified, ROBOT has had enough. They are leaving.

CLONE 1

Being uninformed leaves us more time for our vests!

ROBOT

Aaand…I’m out!

Panel 8: Mirror of panel 3, except their SPACE SHIP is rocketing out of the giant BUBBLE. Sound effect: SPLOOT!

Panel 9: ROBOT and FRANCIS in their SHIP.

ROBOT (exhausted)

Being willfully stupid is just dumb.

Robot Solves the Water Crisis

Comic written and illustrated by Ryan Reid

Panel 1: ROBOT is showing his INVENTION to FRANCIS.

ROBOT

Good news, Francis! I solved the water crisis!

Panel 2: Close up of ROBOT and his INVENTION. Sound effect: CLICK!

ROBOT (sincerely)

This device will open a tiny fissure in space-time, allowing the abundant fresh water from pre-history to flow into the now! Watch this!

Panel 3: A gigantic pre-historic WHALE-like creature appears out of nowhere, with a moist POP! sound. ROBOT and FRANCIS are startled.

Panel 4: Close crop on the eye of the WHALE. ROBOT and FRANCIS lean in off panel.

ROBOT (angry)

Oh, great! Another special interest blocking scientific progress!

Panel 5: ROBOT and FRANCIS walking away from the WHALE. ROBOT tosses his INVENTION away.

ROBOT

Seriously, Francis - if I knew it would be hard I never would’ve bothered.

Communication Breakdown

Comic written and illustrated by Ryan Reid

Panel 1: BARN and paddock. WILLA and MARNIE are visible in the hay mow.

WILLA

Bored. Bored. Bored. Bored. Bored. Bored. Bored. Bored. Bored.

Panel 2: Close up on WILLA and MARNIE.

WILLA

Bored. Bored. Bored. Aha!

Panel 3: Panel expands to allow for infographic of WILLA’s science speak. MARNIE listens intently.

WILLA

Blah blah <math> blah blah <more math> blah blah <incomprehensible science> blah blah

Panel 4: WILLA shows off her newest INVENTION to MARNIE.

TEXT BOX

Much, much later…

WILLA

And so! This machine will allow us to see and talk with alien races on the other side of the known universe! Cool, right?!

Panel 5: Close up on WILLA’s finger, pressing the ON SWITCH on the INVENTION.

WILLA

Power on!

Panel 6: Close up on WILLA and MARNIE. WILLA is speaking into the machine.

WILLA

Hello alien life! This is Willa and Marnie the dog from Earth! Hello? Hello?

Panel 7: ROBOT’s KITCHEN, across the universe. WILLA’s INVENTION has broadcast their image through ROBOT’s REFRIGERATOR. ROBOT is freaked out. WILLA and MARNIE don’t see anything.

TEXT BOX

Waaay on the other side of the known universe…

WILLA

Nuts! I don’t see anything! Maybe my math is off, or maybe…oh! Look at the time! We’ve got to go!

Panel 8: Close up of ROBOT and the REFRIGERATOR. WILLA and MARNIE have disappeared again. ROBOT looks worried, but relieved.

WILLA

Hurry, Marnie! Shut it down! We can not be late! Oh!

Panel 9: MARNIE’s LIVING ROOM. WILLA is watching a loud TV program. MARNIE is asleep on the floor.

TEXT BOX

Fin.