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Robot Blames the Universe

July 24, 2019

In this comic, Robot shares his unusual philosophy of the universe with Francis the Sheep, while they run for their lives.

  • + Transcript

    Robot Blames the Universe

    Comic written and illustrated by Ryan Reid

    Panel 1: ROBOT and FRANCIS run for their lives across an alien landscape. It’s mostly giant mushrooms, and rocks. ORB SHAPED ROBOTS are in hot pursuit, shooting deadly laser beams at them. ROBOT is holding an original iPod for a reason not yet revealed.

    ROBOT

    This isn’t my fault.

    Panel 2: FRANCIS slides down a giant mushroom.

    FRANCIS

    Really?! You just got caught stealing their sacred idol!

    Panel 3: ROBOT runs away from the giant mushrooms, toward a rocky outcrop.

    ROBOT

    Well, yeah! It’s a thousand songs in your pocket!

    Panel 4: ORB SHAPED ROBOTS are relentlessly in pursuit.

    Panel 5: ROBOT and FRANCIS run into a huge cavern.

    ROBOT

    Everything we do is the result of events that occurred long before we arrived.

    Panel 6: ROBOT and FRANCIS hide behind a large rock in the cavern. The cavern is a dead end. FRANCIS returns fire with her laser pistol. ROBOT picked a lousy time to examine strange glowing rocks.

    ROBOT

    Events that stretch back to the start of the Universe. Outcomes are unchangeable!

    Panel 7: FRANCIS’ gun jams. Things are looking bleak. ROBOT has succeeded in creating some kind of ramshackle device using the iPod, and some of those glowing rocks.

    ROBOT

    At least, that’s what the dumb universe would have you believe. Hold on to your woolies!

    Panel 8: ROBOT and FRANCIS have teleported to the top of the cliff. Their space ship is close by, and ready to go.

    DEVICE

    Teleport complete!

    FRANCIS

    UGH! Your daring escapes should come with dire warnings.

    Panel 9: ROBOT and FRANCIS speed away from the planet in their space ship, miraculously surviving this adventure.

    ROBOT

    So the universe could take all the credit for my selfless heroism?! Never!