Crows and Climate Change

Comic written and illustrated by Ryan Reid

Panel 1: A gentle snow falls on a scenic country side. CROWS talk off panel.

CROW 1

You know that feeling you get when squirrels hide copious amounts of acorns in your tail feathers because you’re frozen to the ground and they’re still sore about that time you got them arrested in the park?

CROW 2

That’s strangely specific.

Panel 2

CROW 1

Squirrels, not strangely, are jerks.

CROW 2

Pass me an acorn, I’m feeling peckish.

Panel 3: Snow is getting deeper.

CROW 1

It’s snowing more than usual this year.

CROW 2

That’s climate change for you.

Panel 4: Snow continues to fall. CROWS talk off panel.

CROW 1

Bah! Climate change isn’t real.

CROW 2

Not true.

Panel 5: Snow is getting deeper.

CROW 1

Okay, maybe it’s real, but it’s natural.

CROW 2

Closer.

Panel 6: Snow is piled high on the roof of a nearby house. It continues to fall. CROWS talk off panel.

CROW 1

Okay, humans have made it much worse, but there’s still nothing to worry about.

CROW 2

Almost there.

Panel 7: Snow is falling relentlessly. CROWS are now complete buried in snow.

CROW 1

We’re all going to die.

CROW 2

You made it!

Panel 8: Panel is completely white with snow. CROWS can not be seen, only heard, from beneath the snow.

CROW 1

We’re already dead, and all this snow is a construct of our dying brains easing us into the eternal void.

CROW 2

That would explain all the squirrels.

Robot Solves the Water Crisis

Comic written and illustrated by Ryan Reid

Panel 1: ROBOT is showing his INVENTION to FRANCIS.

ROBOT

Good news, Francis! I solved the water crisis!

Panel 2: Close up of ROBOT and his INVENTION. Sound effect: CLICK!

ROBOT (sincerely)

This device will open a tiny fissure in space-time, allowing the abundant fresh water from pre-history to flow into the now! Watch this!

Panel 3: A gigantic pre-historic WHALE-like creature appears out of nowhere, with a moist POP! sound. ROBOT and FRANCIS are startled.

Panel 4: Close crop on the eye of the WHALE. ROBOT and FRANCIS lean in off panel.

ROBOT (angry)

Oh, great! Another special interest blocking scientific progress!

Panel 5: ROBOT and FRANCIS walking away from the WHALE. ROBOT tosses his INVENTION away.

ROBOT

Seriously, Francis - if I knew it would be hard I never would’ve bothered.

Crows and the Mosaic-Tailed Rat

Comic written and illustrated by Ryan Reid

Panel 1: CROWS landing on GARBAGE BAG.

Panel 2: CROWS digging into GARBAGE BAG, and having a nice lunch.

Panel 3: CROWS, still on GARBAGE BAG. CROW 1 has a thought.

CROW 1

You know who we haven’t heard from in a while? That Mosaic-Tailed Rat.

Panel 4: Close up on MOSAIC-TAILED RAT wearing a lovely BOWLER HAT.

CROW 1 (voice over)

He wears the best hats.

Panel 5: Close up on CROWS.

CROW 2

Oh yeah. He’s dead. Actually, his entire species is extinct.

CROW 1

What?! How?

Panel 6: Close up on CROW 2.

CROW 2

Climate change, primarily. Rising seas destroyed their habitat, and killed all the rats.

Panel 7: Panel frames CROW 1, who considers CROW 2’s words.

CROW 1

Huh.

Panel 8: Reverse silhouette of CROWS on GARBAGE BAG. CROW 1 still in thought.

Panel 9: GARBAGE BAG is obliterated. CROWS stand where the GARBAGE BAG once was.

CROW 1

So, what happened to all his hats?