You are viewing posts tagged 'blame'.

Yearly Problems

January 31, 2021
In this comic, the crows discuss how hoomans blame the year for all their problems.
View Comic Transcript

Yearly Problems

Comic written and illustrated by Ryan Reid

Panel 1: Daytime in a nondescript back alley. CROW 1 stands on the edge of a DUMPSTER, while CROW 2 looks up from deep inside the large garbage bin. They are looking for lunch, and not having much luck.

CROW 1

I don’t think it’s fair that the hoomans blame the year for all their problems.

CROW 2

Wut?

Panel 2: CROW 1, now chewing on what appears to be discarded electrical wire.

CROW 1

Imagine you’re the year, going about your yearly business - changing seasons, renewing magazines, making babies, I don’t know…when suddenly, some hoomans elect a bad leader, start a pandemic, get a lousy haircut, and then blame YOU for all of it!

Panel 3: CROW 2 is head down in the DUMPSTER,

CROW 2

Well, it’s like my Mama used to say - “Blaming celestial mechanics for your problems is far easier than finding lunch in a hardware store dumpster.”

Panel 4: CROW 1 is now chewing on MATCHES. CROW 2 is entertained as the MATCHES light up, and drop into the DUMPSTER.

CROW 1

Too true. Oh, don’t try these stick things. They are not great. 2 stars. Do not recommend.

CROW 2

Oh! They light up. That’s fun.

Panel 5: The DUMPSTER catches FIRE, and the CROWS fly away in a big hurry.

CROW 1

ACK! Not fun! It wasn’t me! The year did it! Ha ha!

CROW 2

It’s the revenge of the stoopid year! Oh, why weren’t we nicer?! Ha ha!

Panel 6: The CROWS fly off into the distance, leaving a large PLUME OF SMOKE, and a raging DUMPSTER FIRE behind them.

CROW 1

Maybe if hoomans don’t like years so much, they should just stop revolving around the sun.

CROW 2

That WOULD make all their problems go away. But don’t give them any ideas.

Death and Agatha McMurray

April 11, 2020

In this comic, Agatha McMurray complains about her miserable life, while Death finds joy in the little things.

View Comic Transcript

Death and Agatha McMurray

Comic written and illustrated by Ryan Reid

Panel 1: An open apartment window. The breeze moves a curtain, gently.

Panel 2: AGATHA, in comfy clothes, carries a large bowl of popcorn.

AGATHA

Munch, munch, munch.

Panel 3: AGATHA clicks a button on the remote control.

AGATHA

Munch, munch, munch.

Panel 4: AGATHA sits on her couch, in front of the tv eating her popcorn. She chokes on her snack, and dies.

AGATHA

Munch, munch, munch, munch. Choke.

Panel 5: The moment AGATHA dies, DEATH arrives. She berates him for making her wait. DEATH checks his watch, but doesn’t respond.

AGATHA

Finally! What took you so long?!

Panel 6: DEATH escorts the fuming AGATHA away.

AGATHA

This life was stupid! A lousy education, a boring job. I was miserable all of the time! All I wanted to do was make art. But I had no confidence! I took no chances! Nothing!

Panel 7: AGATHA, still ranting.

AGATHA

I want to lodge a formal complaint! Who’s in charge here, anyway? Do you have a manager? My next life better be an improvement over this one, or there’ll be hell to pay!

Panel 8: AGATHA and DEATH are gone. The apartment is empty.

Panel 9: The popcorn sits quietly on the arm of the couch.

Panel 9: Suddenly, DEATH pops back into frame. He grabs a hand full of popcorn. He apparently kind of loves popcorn.

DEATH

Mmm…

Panel 10: DEATH exits, leaving a trail of popcorn behind.

DEATH

Munch, munch, munch.