Yearly Problems

January 31, 2021
In this comic, the crows discuss how hoomans blame the year for all their problems.
  • + Transcript

    Yearly Problems

    Comic written and illustrated by Ryan Reid

    Panel 1: Daytime in a nondescript back alley. CROW 1 stands on the edge of a DUMPSTER, while CROW 2 looks up from deep inside the large garbage bin. They are looking for lunch, and not having much luck.

    CROW 1

    I don’t think it’s fair that the hoomans blame the year for all their problems.

    CROW 2

    Wut?

    Panel 2: CROW 1, now chewing on what appears to be discarded electrical wire.

    CROW 1

    Imagine you’re the year, going about your yearly business - changing seasons, renewing magazines, making babies, I don’t know…when suddenly, some hoomans elect a bad leader, start a pandemic, get a lousy haircut, and then blame YOU for all of it!

    Panel 3: CROW 2 is head down in the DUMPSTER,

    CROW 2

    Well, it’s like my Mama used to say - “Blaming celestial mechanics for your problems is far easier than finding lunch in a hardware store dumpster.”

    Panel 4: CROW 1 is now chewing on MATCHES. CROW 2 is entertained as the MATCHES light up, and drop into the DUMPSTER.

    CROW 1

    Too true. Oh, don’t try these stick things. They are not great. 2 stars. Do not recommend.

    CROW 2

    Oh! They light up. That’s fun.

    Panel 5: The DUMPSTER catches FIRE, and the CROWS fly away in a big hurry.

    CROW 1

    ACK! Not fun! It wasn’t me! The year did it! Ha ha!

    CROW 2

    It’s the revenge of the stoopid year! Oh, why weren’t we nicer?! Ha ha!

    Panel 6: The CROWS fly off into the distance, leaving a large PLUME OF SMOKE, and a raging DUMPSTER FIRE behind them.

    CROW 1

    Maybe if hoomans don’t like years so much, they should just stop revolving around the sun.

    CROW 2

    That WOULD make all their problems go away. But don’t give them any ideas.

was published before this post.

was published after it.