Robot Fixes the Engine – Survival Anxiety

Robot Fixes the Engine

February 25, 2020

Tags: Francis the sheep, pointless effort, Robot 

+ Transcript
Robot Fixes the Engine
Comic written and illustrated by Ryan Reid
Panel 1: ROBOT is floating alone in space. Stars flicker. He’s tethered to the ship, which is off panel.
ROBOT
Space is such a lonely place…
Panel 2: Somewhere inside the ship, FRANCIS is holding a space helmet, which is full of plants.
FRANCIS
I’d be out there with you if you hadn’t used my helmet as a terrarium.
Panel 3: ROBOT, still floating in space. FRANCIS can be heard over the ship communicator.
ROBOT
…and so very complainy.
FRANCIS
Just fix the engine.
Panel 4: ROBOT is pulling technical looking stuff out of an open hatch on the top of the ship. FRANCIS can be heard over the ship communicator.
ROBOT
Try it now.
FRANCIS
Nothing.
Panel 5: ROBOT is now head first into the hatch, still pulling stuff out of the ship. FRANCIS can be heard over the SHIP COMMUNICATOR.
ROBOT
How about now?
FRANCIS
Nope.
Panel 6: ROBOT floats down into the engine room. It’s huge, and complex.
ROBOT
Whoa! The engine is bigger than I thought!
Panel 7: ROBOT taps on a gauge on the wall. A MYSTERIOUS FIGURE addresses him off panel.
MYSTERIOUS FIGURE
Cuppa cake?
ROBOT
No thanks.
Panel 8: The MYSTERIOUS FIGURE is a giant BUG! ROBOT confronts the BUG.
ROBOT
Ack! A bug!! Get out! Get out!
BUG
But, yum! Yum!
Panel 9: ROBOT forcibly removes the BUG from the engine room. The BUG floats off into space, yelling about yummy cup cakes.
ROBOT
And! Stay!! Out!!!
BUG
Creamy cheese icing!
Panel 10: Meanwhile, somewhere inside the ship, FRANCIS discovers a cable unplugged from a wall receptacle.
FRANCIS
Oh! The engine was just unplugged!
Panel 11: FRANCIS, having solved the engine problem, is visibly proud. ROBOT, having just exerted way too much effort for no discernible purpose, couldn’t care less.
FRANCIS
I fixed the engine!
ROBOT
Great. Have a cupcake.
<div class="no-script"><p style="text-align: left;">Robot Fixes the Engine</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">Comic written and illustrated by Ryan Reid</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">Panel 1: ROBOT is floating alone in space. Stars flicker. He’s tethered to the ship, which is off panel.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">ROBOT</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">Space is such a lonely place…</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">Panel 2: Somewhere inside the ship, FRANCIS is holding a space helmet, which is full of plants.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">FRANCIS</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">I’d be out there with you if you hadn’t used my helmet as a terrarium.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">Panel 3: ROBOT, still floating in space. FRANCIS can be heard over the ship communicator.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">ROBOT</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">…and so very complainy.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">FRANCIS</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">Just fix the engine.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">Panel 4: ROBOT is pulling technical looking stuff out of an open hatch on the top of the ship. FRANCIS can be heard over the ship communicator.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">ROBOT</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">Try it now.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">FRANCIS</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">Nothing.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">Panel 5: ROBOT is now head first into the hatch, still pulling stuff out of the ship. FRANCIS can be heard over the SHIP COMMUNICATOR.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">ROBOT</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">How about now?</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">FRANCIS</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">Nope.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">Panel 6: ROBOT floats down into the engine room. It’s huge, and complex.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">ROBOT</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">Whoa! The engine is bigger than I thought!</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">Panel 7: ROBOT taps on a gauge on the wall. A MYSTERIOUS FIGURE addresses him off panel.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">MYSTERIOUS FIGURE</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">Cuppa cake?</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">ROBOT</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">No thanks.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">Panel 8: The MYSTERIOUS FIGURE is a giant BUG! ROBOT confronts the BUG.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">ROBOT</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">Ack! A bug!! Get out! Get out!</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">BUG</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">But, yum! Yum!</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">Panel 9: ROBOT forcibly removes the BUG from the engine room. The BUG floats off into space, yelling about yummy cup cakes.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">ROBOT</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">And! Stay!! Out!!!</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">BUG</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">Creamy cheese icing!</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">Panel 10: Meanwhile, somewhere inside the ship, FRANCIS discovers a cable unplugged from a wall receptacle.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">FRANCIS</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">Oh! The engine was just unplugged!</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">Panel 11: FRANCIS, having solved the engine problem, is visibly proud. ROBOT, having just exerted way too much effort for no discernible purpose, couldn’t care less.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">FRANCIS</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">I fixed the engine!</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">ROBOT</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">Great. Have a cupcake.</p></div>
I Am Death was published before this post.
Crows and Climate Change was published after it.