Robot Blames the Universe – Survival Anxiety

Robot Blames the Universe

July 24, 2019

Tags: determinism, Francis the sheep, free will, Robot 

+ Transcript
Robot Blames the Universe
Comic written and illustrated by Ryan Reid
Panel 1: ROBOT and FRANCIS run for their lives across an alien landscape. It’s mostly giant mushrooms, and rocks. ORB SHAPED ROBOTS are in hot pursuit, shooting deadly laser beams at them. ROBOT is holding an original iPod for a reason not yet revealed.
ROBOT
This isn’t my fault.
Panel 2: FRANCIS slides down a giant mushroom.
FRANCIS
Really?! You just got caught stealing their sacred idol!
Panel 3: ROBOT runs away from the giant mushrooms, toward a rocky outcrop.
ROBOT
Well, yeah! It’s a thousand songs in your pocket!
Panel 4: ORB SHAPED ROBOTS are relentlessly in pursuit.
Panel 5: ROBOT and FRANCIS run into a huge cavern.
ROBOT
Everything we do is the result of events that occurred long before we arrived.
Panel 6: ROBOT and FRANCIS hide behind a large rock in the cavern. The cavern is a dead end. FRANCIS returns fire with her laser pistol. ROBOT picked a lousy time to examine strange glowing rocks.
ROBOT
Events that stretch back to the start of the Universe. Outcomes are unchangeable!
Panel 7: FRANCIS’ gun jams. Things are looking bleak. ROBOT has succeeded in creating some kind of ramshackle device using the iPod, and some of those glowing rocks.
ROBOT
At least, that’s what the dumb universe would have you believe. Hold on to your woolies!
Panel 8: ROBOT and FRANCIS have teleported to the top of the cliff. Their space ship is close by, and ready to go.
DEVICE
Teleport complete!
FRANCIS
UGH! Your daring escapes should come with dire warnings.
Panel 9: ROBOT and FRANCIS speed away from the planet in their space ship, miraculously surviving this adventure.
ROBOT
So the universe could take all the credit for my selfless heroism?! Never!
<div class="no-script"><p style="text-align: left;">Robot Blames the Universe</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">Comic written and illustrated by Ryan Reid</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">Panel 1: ROBOT and FRANCIS run for their lives across an alien landscape. It’s mostly giant mushrooms, and rocks. ORB SHAPED ROBOTS are in hot pursuit, shooting deadly laser beams at them. ROBOT is holding an original iPod for a reason not yet revealed.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">ROBOT</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">This isn’t my fault.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">Panel 2: FRANCIS slides down a giant mushroom.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">FRANCIS</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">Really?! You just got caught stealing their sacred idol!</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">Panel 3: ROBOT runs away from the giant mushrooms, toward a rocky outcrop.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">ROBOT</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">Well, yeah! It’s a thousand songs in your pocket!</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">Panel 4: ORB SHAPED ROBOTS are relentlessly in pursuit.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">Panel 5: ROBOT and FRANCIS run into a huge cavern.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">ROBOT</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">Everything we do is the result of events that occurred long before we arrived.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">Panel 6: ROBOT and FRANCIS hide behind a large rock in the cavern. The cavern is a dead end. FRANCIS returns fire with her laser pistol. ROBOT picked a lousy time to examine strange glowing rocks.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">ROBOT</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">Events that stretch back to the start of the Universe. Outcomes are unchangeable!</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">Panel 7: FRANCIS’ gun jams. Things are looking bleak. ROBOT has succeeded in creating some kind of ramshackle device using the iPod, and some of those glowing rocks.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">ROBOT</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">At least, that’s what the dumb universe would have you believe. Hold on to your woolies!</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">Panel 8: ROBOT and FRANCIS have teleported to the top of the cliff. Their space ship is close by, and ready to go.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">DEVICE</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">Teleport complete!</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">FRANCIS</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">UGH! Your daring escapes should come with dire warnings.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">Panel 9: ROBOT and FRANCIS speed away from the planet in their space ship, miraculously surviving this adventure.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">ROBOT</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">So the universe could take all the credit for my selfless heroism?! Never!</p></div>
Existential Sweater was published before this post.
The Great Cawcaw was published after it.