Magical Thinking – Survival Anxiety

Magical Thinking

September 30, 2020



Tags: crows, magical thinking, reality 

+ Transcript
Magical Facts
Comic written and illustrated by Ryan Reid
Panel 1: Voices come from a tree, in an old churchyard. It’s the CROWS.
CROW 2
Hey, is that the squirrel that’s got it in for you? It looks angry.
CROW 1
I don’t believe in squirrels, so it can’t hurt me.
Panel 2: CROWS are conversing on a tree branch. CROW 2 is only half listening, more interested in the SQUIRREL farther up the tree, and off panel.
CROW 2
It’s carrying a lot of acorns for such a tiny animal.
CROW 1
In fact, I don’t believe in anything inconvenient, difficult to understand, or harmful to me.
Panel 3: CROW 2 continues to watch the SQUIRREL with some interest.
CROW 2
Oh, wait, his friends have come to help him. That’s nice.
CROW 1
Global pandemic, climate change, facts, squirrels. None of it exists.
Panel 4: CROW 1, who was also only half listening to CROW 2, finally clues in.
CROW 2
Oh! You should probably move.
CROW 1
What? Why?
Panel 5: But it’s too late. The unseen SQUIRRELS bombard CROW 1 with acorns, knocking him out of the tree.
CROW 1
Ow! Ow! Hey! Ow! Stop! Ow! Oh! Hey! Er! Oof! Hey! Ow! Stup- Ow!
Panel 6: CROW 2, unharmed by the previous onslaught, calls down to CROW 1, lying in great discomfort on the ground below.
CROW 2
Good thing squirrels don’t exist, or you’d be in a lot of pain right now!
CROW 1
Stupid squirrels! Stop suppressing my beliefs!
<div class="no-script"><p style="text-align: left;">Magical Facts</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">Comic written and illustrated by Ryan Reid</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">Panel 1: Voices come from a tree, in an old churchyard. It’s the CROWS.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">CROW 2</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">Hey, is that the squirrel that’s got it in for you? It looks angry.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">CROW 1</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">I don’t believe in squirrels, so it can’t hurt me.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">Panel 2: CROWS are conversing on a tree branch. CROW 2 is only half listening, more interested in the SQUIRREL farther up the tree, and off panel.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">CROW 2</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">It’s carrying a lot of acorns for such a tiny animal.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">CROW 1</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">In fact, I don’t believe in anything inconvenient, difficult to understand, or harmful to me.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">Panel 3: CROW 2 continues to watch the SQUIRREL with some interest.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">CROW 2</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">Oh, wait, his friends have come to help him. That’s nice.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">CROW 1</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">Global pandemic, climate change, facts, squirrels. None of it exists.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">Panel 4: CROW 1, who was also only half listening to CROW 2, finally clues in.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">CROW 2</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">Oh! You should probably move.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">CROW 1</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">What? Why?</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">Panel 5: But it’s too late. The unseen SQUIRRELS bombard CROW 1 with acorns, knocking him out of the tree.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">CROW 1</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">Ow! Ow! Hey! Ow! Stop! Ow! Oh! Hey! Er! Oof! Hey! Ow! Stup- Ow!</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">Panel 6: CROW 2, unharmed by the previous onslaught, calls down to CROW 1, lying in great discomfort on the ground below.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">CROW 2</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">Good thing squirrels don’t exist, or you’d be in a lot of pain right now!</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">CROW 1</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">Stupid squirrels! Stop suppressing my beliefs!</p></div>
The Secret to Great Adventure was published before this post.
Thirds 1 was published after it.