Tough Crowd

Comic written and illustrated by Ryan Reid

Panel 1: OUTSIDE, NIGHT. A poster on a brick wall advertises Open Mic Nite at THE COMEDY PLACE.

GHOST (voice over)

…and then the first crow says “So, what happened to all his hats?”! Ha,ha!

Panel 2: DEATH and a GHOST exit through the back door of THE COMEDY PLACE into the ALLEY.

GHOST

Get it? He said “What happened to all his hats?”.

DEATH (Unconvinced the joke was funny)

I got it.

Panel 3: DEATH and GHOST walk the ALLEY.

GHOST

But you’re not laughing. I guess being Death doesn’t require much of a sense of humour.

DEATH

What? I have a great sense of humour. Here, I know a joke -

Panel 4

DEATH

Knock, knock.

Panel 5

GHOST

Who’s there?

Panel 6

DEATH

Nobody. You’re dead.

Panel 7

DEATH

Hee, hee, hee, hee!

Panel 8

DEATH

Get it? Because you’re dead.

GHOST (Annoyed)

I got it.

Thirds #4

Comic written and illustrated by Ryan Reid

Panel 1: Morning, street curb. 2 CROWS pick food from GARBAGE BAGS.

CROW 1

This is the worst cotton candy I’ve ever had!

CROW 2

That’s a bag of dryer lint.

Panel 2: Beat. CROW 1 considers this new information, while CROW 2 continues picking DRYER LINT from the GARBAGE BAG.

Panel 3

CROW 1

In that case it’s pretty good.

CROW 2

Hints of oak and licorice, with a shiny polyester finish.

Thirds #3

Comic written and illustrated by Ryan Reid

Panel 1: Outside, patio. ROLAND relaxes in along chair. MICHA reads a food magazine.

ROLAND

Do you ever look around the room and think “I’m surrounded by really good people - I must be the jerk”?

MICHA

No. For me it’s a given.

Support System

Comic written and illustrated by Ryan Reid

Panel 1: SPACE. A dirty smoke trail careens toward a cube shaped ALIEN PLANET. CRASH!

Panel 2: ROBOT and FRANCIS stand near their ship. FRANCIS is wiping her hands on a RAG. They are surrounded by nondescript BOXES, stacked high into the sky.

FRANCIS

The phlang-o-tron is on the fritz. I fixed it, but it needs be replaced.

ROBOT

Good work! Let’s get out of here - these boxes are giving me the heebie-jeebies!

BOX

I earn a root beer float for good work!

Panel 3: ROBOT and FRANCIS freak out at the unexpected voice.

FRANCIS

Who said that?!

ROBOT

Gah! All these boxes have people trapped in them!

Panel 4: The PERSON IN THE BOX explains.

PERSON IN THE BOX

We’re not trapped! We just work and live in these tiny boxes until we die, or until we are no longer valuable to the system.

Panel 5: ROBOT and FRANCIS examine the stack of BOXES, while considering the argument by the PERSON IN THE BOX. ROBOT leans on the box they are talking to.

FRANCIS

That doesn’t sound like you’re NOT trapped.

ROBOT

Also, it looks like you all are just supporting the guy on top.

Panel 6: Sitting atop the tall stack of boxes is an OBESE CAT-LIKE CREATURE in a TOP HAT. It’s far too large to be sitting on such a narrow tower of boxes.

PERSON IN THE BOX

No, we’re all equal! I mean, he gets paid more, and has a nicer view, and controls the root beer float box, but…hey, is my box moving? HEY!

Panel 7: ROBOT stumbles, as the BOX he’s leaning on slides out of from under him.

ROBOT

Uh oh.

Panel 8: STACKS OF BOXES topple to the ground. ROBOT and FRANCIS run for their lives!

FRANCIS

RUN!

Panel 9: ROBOT and FRANCIS fly away from the planet in their SPACE SHIP, as the PLANET falls into ruin.

Panel 10: ROBOT and FRANCIS, safe aboard their SHIP, enjoy ROOT BEER FLOATS.

FRANCIS

Lucky for us the root beer float box fell right into the ship as we were running for our lives!

ROBOT

Good work!

Thirds #2

Comic written and illustrated by Ryan Reid

Panel 1

CROW 1

The world is on fire.

CROW 2

Have you thought of a way to save it?

Panel 2: CROW 1 is standing on a big bag of marshmallows, holding a marshmallow roasting stick.

CROW 1

Not exactly.

Thirds 1

Comic written and illustrated by Ryan Reid

Panel 1 - DEATH is leading a GHOST to the great beyond. Behind them, a ladder leans against a garage roof. A bottle balances on the peak.

GHOST

I guess I should’ve worn a mask, huh?

Panel 2

DEATH

Well, yeah, but more immediately maybe you shouldn’t have been drinking on the roof of your garage during allergy season.

Panel 3

GHOST

So, maybe?

DEATH

Sure. Whatever, man.

Magical Facts

Comic written and illustrated by Ryan Reid

Panel 1: Voices come from a tree, in an old churchyard. It’s the CROWS.

CROW 2

Hey, is that the squirrel that’s got it in for you? It looks angry.

CROW 1

I don’t believe in squirrels, so it can’t hurt me.

Panel 2: CROWS are conversing on a tree branch. CROW 2 is only half listening, more interested in the SQUIRREL farther up the tree, and off panel.

CROW 2

It’s carrying a lot of acorns for such a tiny animal.

CROW 1

In fact, I don’t believe in anything inconvenient, difficult to understand, or harmful to me.

Panel 3: CROW 2 continues to watch the SQUIRREL with some interest.

CROW 2

Oh, wait, his friends have come to help him. That’s nice.

CROW 1

Global pandemic, climate change, facts, squirrels. None of it exists.

Panel 4: CROW 1, who was also only half listening to CROW 2, finally clues in.

CROW 2

Oh! You should probably move.

CROW 1

What? Why?

Panel 5: But it’s too late. The unseen SQUIRRELS bombard CROW 1 with acorns, knocking him out of the tree.

CROW 1

Ow! Ow! Hey! Ow! Stop! Ow! Oh! Hey! Er! Oof! Hey! Ow! Stup- Ow!

Panel 6: CROW 2, unharmed by the previous onslaught, calls down to CROW 1, lying in great discomfort on the ground below.

CROW 2

Good thing squirrels don’t exist, or you’d be in a lot of pain right now!

CROW 1

Stupid squirrels! Stop suppressing my beliefs!

The Secret to Great Adventure

Comic written and illustrated by Ryan Reid

Panel 1: ROBOT is pulling MUTANT SPACE PIRANHAS off his head. Nondescript debris floats nearby.

ROBOT

A friend once told me the best adventures come unexpectedly. Spontaneity, she said, is the secret to great adventure. She was eaten by a Three Legged Gullfinch on Bleacher 9. Tragic, but not unexpected.

Panel 2: FRANCIS describes their current predicament.

FRANCIS

I bet your friend never survived a school of Mutant Space Piranhas who ate her space ship, only to get hopelessly stranded on the Screaming Rock Heads of Jibber Jabber, moments from crashing into the centre of the hottest star in the galaxy.

Panel 3: ROBOT and FRANCIS sit atop one of many Screaming Rock Heads of Jibber Jabber, all careening through space toward the hottest star in the galaxy. There are a couple MUTANT  SPACE PIRANHAS still floating about, and lots of SHIP DEBRIS.

Panel 4: ROBOT and FRANCIS, heading toward the HOTTEST STAR IN THE GALAXY.

ROBOT

Her loss. Speaking of impending death, do you think it’s last minute enough to implement my heroic plan to get us out of this harrowing ordeal?

FRANCIS

Planned escape! That’s the real secret to great adventure!

Death Takes a Break

Comic written and illustrated by Ryan Reid

Panel 1: Mid-day, Hemlock Park. DEATH sits on a park bench, enjoying a bag of popcorn. There are PIGEONS. It’s very relaxing.

Panel 2: PIGEONS have moved to his shoulders, and lap, and all around him, as he shares his pop corn with them. DEATH is quite happy.

Panel 3: Finally DEATH runs out of pop corn. He shares the last kernel with his bird friends.

Panel 4: DEATH stands up, and tosses the empty pop corn bag into the nearby trash can.

DEATH Okie-dokie! All done! Let’s move out!

Panel 5: DEATH turns around to see MANY GHOSTS have been waiting patiently, and a bit confusedly, just off panel. They’ve been waiting for DEATH to finish his break.

DEATH Oh!

Panel 6

DEATH Were there this many of you here before my break? You know what? It doesn’t matter. Let’s just go.

Panel 7

RANDOM GHOST Dude - you take really long breaks.

DEATH Yeah, well, if you think 15 minutes was long, eternity is going to blow your mind.

It Must be Tuesday

Comic written and illustrated by Ryan Reid

Panel 1: CROW 1 and CROW 2 sit atop a light pole. Below, people demonstrate with signs and chanting.

Crow 1

The hoomans are fighting again.

Crow 2

Oh, good. I like the colourful signs.

Panel 2

Crow 2

What is it this time? Inequality? Climate change?

Panel 3: The CROWS fly out of the city, and into the country.

Crow 2

Religion? Unemployment? Police brutality?

Government corruption? Systemic racism?

Poverty? Political polarization?

Panel 4

Crow 2

Education? Healthcare? Discrimination?

Panel 5

Crow 1

Yes. They’re very ambitious.

Crow 2

I hope they find time to fit in a nap before burning their society to the ground.