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Robot Blames the Universe
Comic written and illustrated by Ryan Reid
Panel 1: ROBOT and FRANCIS run for their lives across an alien landscape. It’s mostly giant mushrooms, and rocks. ORB SHAPED ROBOTS are in hot pursuit, shooting deadly laser beams at them. ROBOT is holding an original iPod for a reason not yet revealed.
This isn’t my fault.
Panel 2: FRANCIS slides down a giant mushroom.
Really?! You just got caught stealing their sacred idol!
Panel 3: ROBOT runs away from the giant mushrooms, toward a rocky outcrop.
Well, yeah! It’s a thousand songs in your pocket!
Panel 4: ORB SHAPED ROBOTS are relentlessly in pursuit.
Panel 5: ROBOT and FRANCIS run into a huge cavern.
Everything we do is the result of events that occurred long before we arrived.
Panel 6: ROBOT and FRANCIS hide behind a large rock in the cavern. The cavern is a dead end. FRANCIS returns fire with her laser pistol. ROBOT picked a lousy time to examine strange glowing rocks.
Events that stretch back to the start of the Universe. Outcomes are unchangeable!
Panel 7: FRANCIS’ gun jams. Things are looking bleak. ROBOT has succeeded in creating some kind of ramshackle device using the iPod, and some of those glowing rocks.
At least, that’s what the dumb universe would have you believe. Hold on to your woolies!
Panel 8: ROBOT and FRANCIS have teleported to the top of the cliff. Their space ship is close by, and ready to go.
UGH! Your daring escapes should come with dire warnings.
Panel 9: ROBOT and FRANCIS speed away from the planet in their space ship, miraculously surviving this adventure.
So the universe could take all the credit for my selfless heroism?! Never!