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Existential Sweater

May 22, 2019

In this comic, a fashionable sweater has an existential crisis while in conversation with a rubber duck.

  • + Transcript

    Existential Sweater

    Comic written and illustrated by Ryan Reid

    Panel 1: A SWEATER lays on a bathroom floor. A RUBBER DUCK sits perched on the edge of the tub.

    SWEATER

    Why am I here?

    Panel 2: SWEATER continues.

    SWEATER

    Is this all there is to life?

    Panel 3: An assortment of shampoo bottles are covered in the bubbles from a recent bath.

    Panel 4: Towels hang on the towel rod, rather uncaringly.

    Panel 5: SWEATER continues.

    SWEATER

    What is my purpose?

    Panel 4: RUBBER DUCK speaks up from her perch on the edge of the tub.

    RUBBER DUCK

    You keep a human warm. That is your purpose.

    Panel 5: SWEATER lays awkwardly on the tile floor.

    SWEATER

    The world is meaningless and I’m a cozy sweater?

    Panel 6: RUBBER DUCK continues.

    RUBBER DUCK

    This morning you were also a bath mat. That could be your purpose.

    SWEATER

    God really is dead.

    Panel 7: Inert shampoo bottles on the edge of the tub, and the shower curtain listen in. Or maybe not. They’re inert, so who knows. RUBBER DUCK mostly just wants this conversation to end now.

    RUBBER DUCK

    Oh! I know. Your synthetic fibres are killing lots of marine life.

    SWEATER

    I’m a murderer?!

    Panel 8: SWEATER and RUBBER DUCK conclude their discussion in the bathroom.

    RUBBER DUCK

    I was thinking more like an environmental concern, but whatever floats your boat.

    SWEATER

    Cozy sweater is good. Let’s not talk anymore.