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Crows Chewing Gum

October 21, 2018

Crows Chewing Gum

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  • + Transcript

    Crows Chewing Gum

    Comic written and illustrated by Ryan Reid

    Panel 1: CROWS are hanging out in the woods. CROW 1 is blowing a large gum bubble.

    CROW 2

    Where did you get the gum?

    CROW 1

    The park.

    Panel 2: CROW 1 close up.

    CROW 1

    Technically, a kid in the park gave it to me.

    Panel 3: CROW 2 close up.

    CROW 1 (from off panel)

    Actually, he threw it at me.

    Panel 4: CROW 1 close up, pointing to his beak.

    CROW 1

    With his mouth.

    Panel 5: KID freaking out, claw of CROW 1 is grabbing the gum that has launched out of the

    kid’s mouth.

    CROW 1 (voice over)

    And by ‘threw’ I mean it kind of flew out of his teeth while he screamed ‘Stop bothering me for

    my gum, bird! Help! Help!’

    Panel 6: CROW 1 blowing gum bubble, while perched atop an Animal Control truck. He’s

    watching ANIMAL CONTROL capture SQUIRRELS off panel.

    CROW 1 (voice over)

    Then Animal Control showed up and thought the kid was freaking out about rodents, so they

    arrested all of the squirrels.

    Panel 7: CROW 1 close up, angry.

    CROW 1

    Now the squirrels are mad at me, and I have to go live with my Aunt in Minden until they get distracted by some nuts or something.

    Panel 8: CROWS are hanging out in the woods, same as panel 1.

    CROW 1 (indignant)

    So I ask you – who is the real victim here?!

    CROW 2

    This is why I only pester old men for licorice.