The Secret to Great Adventure

August 30, 2020

In this comic, Robot and Francis discover the secret to great adventure.

  • + Transcript

    The Secret to Great Adventure

    Comic written and illustrated by Ryan Reid

    Panel 1: ROBOT is pulling MUTANT SPACE PIRANHAS off his head. Nondescript debris floats nearby.

    ROBOT

    A friend once told me the best adventures come unexpectedly. Spontaneity, she said, is the secret to great adventure. She was eaten by a Three Legged Gullfinch on Bleacher 9. Tragic, but not unexpected.

    Panel 2: FRANCIS describes their current predicament.

    FRANCIS

    I bet your friend never survived a school of Mutant Space Piranhas who ate her space ship, only to get hopelessly stranded on the Screaming Rock Heads of Jibber Jabber, moments from crashing into the centre of the hottest star in the galaxy.

    Panel 3: ROBOT and FRANCIS sit atop one of many Screaming Rock Heads of Jibber Jabber, all careening through space toward the hottest star in the galaxy. There are a couple MUTANT  SPACE PIRANHAS still floating about, and lots of SHIP DEBRIS.

    Panel 4: ROBOT and FRANCIS, heading toward the HOTTEST STAR IN THE GALAXY.

    ROBOT

    Her loss. Speaking of impending death, do you think it’s last minute enough to implement my heroic plan to get us out of this harrowing ordeal?

    FRANCIS

    Planned escape! That’s the real secret to great adventure!

Death Takes a Break

July 30, 2020

In this comic, Death takes a short break from work, only to find his work doesn’t take a break from him.

  • + Transcript

    Death Takes a Break

    Comic written and illustrated by Ryan Reid

    Panel 1: Mid-day, Hemlock Park. DEATH sits on a park bench, enjoying a bag of popcorn. There are PIGEONS. It’s very relaxing.

    Panel 2: PIGEONS have moved to his shoulders, and lap, and all around him, as he shares his pop corn with them. DEATH is quite happy.

    Panel 3: Finally DEATH runs out of pop corn. He shares the last kernel with his bird friends.

    Panel 4: DEATH stands up, and tosses the empty pop corn bag into the nearby trash can.

    DEATH Okie-dokie! All done! Let’s move out!

    Panel 5: DEATH turns around to see MANY GHOSTS have been waiting patiently, and a bit confusedly, just off panel. They’ve been waiting for DEATH to finish his break.

    DEATH Oh!

    Panel 6

    DEATH Were there this many of you here before my break? You know what? It doesn’t matter. Let’s just go.

    Panel 7

    RANDOM GHOST Dude - you take really long breaks.

    DEATH Yeah, well, if you think 15 minutes was long, eternity is going to blow your mind.

It Must Be Tuesday

June 25, 2020

In this comic, the crows have opinions of little importance on our apparently imminent self-destruction.

  • + Transcript

    It Must be Tuesday

    Comic written and illustrated by Ryan Reid

    Panel 1: CROW 1 and CROW 2 sit atop a light pole. Below, people demonstrate with signs and chanting.

    Crow 1

    The hoomans are fighting again.

    Crow 2

    Oh, good. I like the colourful signs.

    Panel 2

    Crow 2

    What is it this time? Inequality? Climate change?

    Panel 3: The CROWS fly out of the city, and into the country.

    Crow 2

    Religion? Unemployment? Police brutality?

    Government corruption? Systemic racism?

    Poverty? Political polarization?

    Panel 4

    Crow 2

    Education? Healthcare? Discrimination?

    Panel 5

    Crow 1

    Yes. They’re very ambitious.

    Crow 2

    I hope they find time to fit in a nap before burning their society to the ground.

The Meaning of Life

May 21, 2020

In this comic, Robot and Francis the Sheep go to a strange planet in search of the meaning of life. Kind of.

  • + Transcript

    The Meaning of Life

    Comic written and illustrated by Ryan Reid

    Panel 1: ROBOT and FRANCIS search an alien landscape for something unknown. They seem quite determined.

    Panel 2: Beautiful wild flowers surround them. It’s a very nice planet.

    Panel 3: Their search ends in a stunning valley. Towering before them is the goddess CHAKKA OF AKONG. She is surrounded by swirling magic.

    Panel 4

    FRANCIS

    Great Goddess Chakka of Akong, your wisdom knows no bounds! We are humbled to be in your presence!

    ROBOT

    We seek guidance!

    Panel 5

    CHAKKA OF AKONG

    My knowledge is as deep and as wide as the Universe is infinite. What do you desire? The meaning of life? The secrets of the universe?

    Panel 6

    ROBOT

    Nah, something much more important. We need directions to Galaxy Joe’s House of Noodles!

    Panel 7: CHAKKA OF AKONG isn’t impressed with this request. Not even a little bit.

    CHAKKA OF AKONG

    Are you asking me, an immortal, all-knowing, higher being, for restaurant directions?!

    Panel 8

    FRANCIS

    To be fair, they have the best noodles, and our map app couldn’t get a cyberweb connection out here.

    ROBOT

    Hold on Francis! I got a signal! Galaxy Joe’s - first left past the Gummy Nebula. Let’s ride!

    Panel 9: CHAKKA OF AKONG is completely baffled by this entire chain of events.

    CHAKKA OF AKONG

    What is happening right now?!

    Panel 10: ROBOT and FRANCIS blast off into space, once again on the trail of, apparently, lunch.

    Panel 11: GALAXY JOE’S, home of the gigantic noodle bowl.

    FRANCIS

    What did she mean when she said she’d erase us from this plane of existence?

    ROBOT

    I don’t know, but it’ll be reflected in her Goddess review. 1 star. Short tempered. Would not idolize.

These Times

April 29, 2020

In this comic, the crows discuss these strange times we are living in.

Tags: ,
  • + Transcript

    These Times

    Comic written and illustrated by Ryan Reid

    Panel 1: CROWS sit on branches in separate trees, spanning above a park path.

    CROW 1

    These are uncertain times.

    CROW 2

    Unprecedented and unusual times.

    Panel 2: CROWS face each other from the roof peaks of two houses.

    CROW 1

    Difficult times.

    CROW 2

    Dark times.

    Panel 3: CROWS distance themselves while sitting on discarded shopping carts.

    CROW 1

    Anxious and alarming times.

    Panel 4: CROWS are separated while sitting on two traffic lights.

    CROW 2

    Troubled times. Tough times.

    CROW 1

    Trying times. Testing times.

    Panel 5: CROWS are in a basketball court.

    CROW 1

    Strange times.

    CROW 2

    Stressful times.

    Panel 6: CROWS are on either end of a playground slide.

    CROW 1

    Extraordinary times.

    CROW 2

    Challenging times.

    Panel 7: CROWS come together for lunch.

    CROW 1

    We are living in interesting times.

    CROW 2

    I need a time out.

Death and Agatha McMurray

April 11, 2020

In this comic, Agatha McMurray complains about her miserable life, while Death finds joy in the little things.

  • + Transcript

    Death and Agatha McMurray

    Comic written and illustrated by Ryan Reid

    Panel 1: An open apartment window. The breeze moves a curtain, gently.

    Panel 2: AGATHA, in comfy clothes, carries a large bowl of popcorn.

    AGATHA

    Munch, munch, munch.

    Panel 3: AGATHA clicks a button on the remote control.

    AGATHA

    Munch, munch, munch.

    Panel 4: AGATHA sits on her couch, in front of the tv eating her popcorn. She chokes on her snack, and dies.

    AGATHA

    Munch, munch, munch, munch. Choke.

    Panel 5: The moment AGATHA dies, DEATH arrives. She berates him for making her wait. DEATH checks his watch, but doesn’t respond.

    AGATHA

    Finally! What took you so long?!

    Panel 6: DEATH escorts the fuming AGATHA away.

    AGATHA

    This life was stupid! A lousy education, a boring job. I was miserable all of the time! All I wanted to do was make art. But I had no confidence! I took no chances! Nothing!

    Panel 7: AGATHA, still ranting.

    AGATHA

    I want to lodge a formal complaint! Who’s in charge here, anyway? Do you have a manager? My next life better be an improvement over this one, or there’ll be hell to pay!

    Panel 8: AGATHA and DEATH are gone. The apartment is empty.

    Panel 9: The popcorn sits quietly on the arm of the couch.

    Panel 9: Suddenly, DEATH pops back into frame. He grabs a hand full of popcorn. He apparently kind of loves popcorn.

    DEATH

    Mmm…

    Panel 10: DEATH exits, leaving a trail of popcorn behind.

    DEATH

    Munch, munch, munch.

Crows and Climate Change

March 20, 2020

In this comic, the crows have a snowy exchange regarding climate change.

  • + Transcript

    Crows and Climate Change

    Comic written and illustrated by Ryan Reid

    Panel 1: A gentle snow falls on a scenic country side. CROWS talk off panel.

    CROW 1

    You know that feeling you get when squirrels hide copious amounts of acorns in your tail feathers because you’re frozen to the ground and they’re still sore about that time you got them arrested in the park?

    CROW 2

    That’s strangely specific.

    Panel 2

    CROW 1

    Squirrels, not strangely, are jerks.

    CROW 2

    Pass me an acorn, I’m feeling peckish.

    Panel 3: Snow is getting deeper.

    CROW 1

    It’s snowing more than usual this year.

    CROW 2

    That’s climate change for you.

    Panel 4: Snow continues to fall. CROWS talk off panel.

    CROW 1

    Bah! Climate change isn’t real.

    CROW 2

    Not true.

    Panel 5: Snow is getting deeper.

    CROW 1

    Okay, maybe it’s real, but it’s natural.

    CROW 2

    Closer.

    Panel 6: Snow is piled high on the roof of a nearby house. It continues to fall. CROWS talk off panel.

    CROW 1

    Okay, humans have made it much worse, but there’s still nothing to worry about.

    CROW 2

    Almost there.

    Panel 7: Snow is falling relentlessly. CROWS are now complete buried in snow.

    CROW 1

    We’re all going to die.

    CROW 2

    You made it!

    Panel 8: Panel is completely white with snow. CROWS can not be seen, only heard, from beneath the snow.

    CROW 1

    We’re already dead, and all this snow is a construct of our dying brains easing us into the eternal void.

    CROW 2

    That would explain all the squirrels.

Robot Fixes the Engine

February 25, 2020

In this comic, Robot heads out into space to fix the rocket engine, but is hindered by a freeloading bug and pastries.

  • + Transcript

    Robot Fixes the Engine

    Comic written and illustrated by Ryan Reid

    Panel 1: ROBOT is floating alone in space. Stars flicker. He’s tethered to the ship, which is off panel.

    ROBOT

    Space is such a lonely place…

    Panel 2: Somewhere inside the ship, FRANCIS is holding a space helmet, which is full of plants.

    FRANCIS

    I’d be out there with you if you hadn’t used my helmet as a terrarium.

    Panel 3: ROBOT, still floating in space. FRANCIS can be heard over the ship communicator.

    ROBOT

    …and so very complainy.

    FRANCIS

    Just fix the engine.

    Panel 4: ROBOT is pulling technical looking stuff out of an open hatch on the top of the ship. FRANCIS can be heard over the ship communicator.

    ROBOT

    Try it now.

    FRANCIS

    Nothing.

    Panel 5: ROBOT is now head first into the hatch, still pulling stuff out of the ship. FRANCIS can be heard over the SHIP COMMUNICATOR.

    ROBOT

    How about now?

    FRANCIS

    Nope.

    Panel 6: ROBOT floats down into the engine room. It’s huge, and complex.

    ROBOT

    Whoa! The engine is bigger than I thought!

    Panel 7: ROBOT taps on a gauge on the wall. A MYSTERIOUS FIGURE addresses him off panel.

    MYSTERIOUS FIGURE

    Cuppa cake?

    ROBOT

    No thanks.

    Panel 8: The MYSTERIOUS FIGURE is a giant BUG! ROBOT confronts the BUG.

    ROBOT

    Ack! A bug!! Get out! Get out!

    BUG

    But, yum! Yum!

    Panel 9: ROBOT forcibly removes the BUG from the engine room. The BUG floats off into space, yelling about yummy cup cakes.

    ROBOT

    And! Stay!! Out!!!

    BUG

    Creamy cheese icing!

    Panel 10: Meanwhile, somewhere inside the ship, FRANCIS discovers a cable unplugged from a wall receptacle.

    FRANCIS

    Oh! The engine was just unplugged!

    Panel 11: FRANCIS, having solved the engine problem, is visibly proud. ROBOT, having just exerted way too much effort for no discernible purpose, couldn’t care less.

    FRANCIS

    I fixed the engine!

    ROBOT

    Great. Have a cupcake.

I Am Death

December 22, 2019

In this comic, Death gets some new clothes, and meets an old man who is a critic right to his last breath.

  • + Transcript

    I Am Death

    Comic written and illustrated by Ryan Reid

    Panel 1: An OLD MAN, and DEATH stand together to the side of a old farm house, somewhere in the country.

    OLD MAN

    You’re him, aren’t you?

    DEATH

    I am death.

    Panel 2: The OLD MAN and DEATH stand together, in conversation.

    OLD MAN

    Where’s the robe? Where’s the scythe?

    DEATH

    Oh, uh…I’m trying something new.

    Panel 3

    OLD MAN

    Well, it sucks.

    DEATH

    That’s harsh.

    Panel 4: The mailbox sits quietly nearby, flag up, ready to be emptied.

    OLD MAN

    Did I hurt your little feelings? Is wee Death going to cry? Boo hoo!

    Death

    The kid in the shop said I looked cool.

    Panel 5: The stone chimney of the old house stands patiently, awaiting the smoke from a warm winter fire.

    OLD MAN

    He lied! HA HA HA HA HA

    DEATH

    I’m beginning to understand why your wife poisoned your tea.

    Panel 6: The ghost of the OLD MAN and DEATH look casually on, over the corpse of the now dead OLD MAN.

    OLD MAN

    You enjoyed that, didn’t you?

    DEATH

    Not as much as this next bit.

    Panel 7: The world slips away slowly from the ghost of the OLD MAN and DEATH.

    OLD MAN

    Why? What’s the next bit?

    DEATH

    It’s nothing.

    Panel 8: Nothing.

The Great Cawcaw

December 1, 2019

In this comic, the crows play everyone’s favourite psychic lunch game!

Tags: , ,
  • + Transcript

    The Great Cawcaw

    Comic written and illustrated by Ryan Reid

    Panel 1: Suburban roof tops, a couple of trees. Two CROWS fly in the far distance.

    Panel 2: It’s garbage day. CROW 1, wearing a silly fez cap, stands atop a large bag of trash. CROW 2 is on the ground beside a second large bag of trash.

    CROW 1

    I will predict the contents of these containers using only the power of my mind!

    CROW 2

    Oh! I love this trick!

    Panel 3: CROW 1 leans across the black bag.

    CROW 1

    Bananas, creamed corn, possibly…toast.

    CROW 2

    Pass.

    Panel 4: The CROWS have moved to another selection of garbage. CROW 1 is situated atop a beat up garbage can. CROW 2 remains on the ground.

    CROW 1

    Spinach. Way too many chia seeds. Tofu cookie experiment.

    CROW 2

    Meh.

    Panel 5: The tallest stack of bags ever.

    CROW 1

    Diapers.

    CROW 2

    A digestif, perhaps.

    Panel 6: The CROWS stand on an old suitcase.

    CROW 1

    Psycho killer.

    CROW 2

    Qu’est-ce que c’est?

    Panel 7: The CROWS finally land on a suitable pile of trash. It includes many kitchen implements, bones, some of it is still smoking.

    CROW 1

    Burnt chicken, tears, and the failure of all things culinary.

    CROW 2

    Lunch is served!